Ugh !!  Don't Gnomes look weird !!!
THE GNOME X-FILES
Lets zap that Gnomey there !
THE GNOME X-FILES
Elvis Murdered by FBI Gnome Assassin
Gotcha !!!!
The tragic death of Elvis Presley continues to provoke controversy. Over 25 years ago he was found slumped on the bathroom floor at Graceland beside his toilet. The official story was that he had a fatal heart-attack while on the loo. Shocking new evidence leaked from the FBI Gnome X-files however points to a cover-up. It seems Elvis may in fact have been an alien (see story below) but when he decided to tell the public an FBI gnome assassin was sent to silence him. 
THE TRUTH AT LAST
You aint nuthin' but a Gnome ...
HOW THE KING DIED
How it was done : It is alleged that the wily little FBI killer penetrated the plumbing system of Graceland, wriggled up the pipe and around the U-bend into Elvis's toilet while the King of Rock n' Roll sat there, and stabbed the singer up the butt with a piece of specially sharpened fruit. Death from shock was instantaneous and left few marks which the subsequent autopsy could detect. The Memphis coroner was puzzled by traces of grapefruit around the singers ass, but says he was visited by men in black who warned him to keep quiet.
The question on everyones lips. Was Elvis an Alien ?

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ELVIS AN ALIEN ? THE LINK WITH ROSWELL
( Note : this is a *genuine* extract from an email found on the internet. Good Lord !!!!!)

In 1947 a UFO reportedly crashed in Roswell New Mexico, near White Sands. The government of the USA has been involved ever since in a coverup. It is alleged that the USA military flew in a photographer to film the autopsies of the four aliens found dead on this crashed UFO. Strangely, this photographer, named Barret, is reported to be the same man who later took the first photo of Elvis or at the very least to have the same name. It has been reported that this photgrapher witheld some of the autopsy film, and recently  sold it to a man named Ray Scintilli. This is where it gets even weirder. It appears that Mr. Scintilli came to the United States to speak with this photographer about doing an Elvis documentary. The Roswell photographer for some reason decided to turn over the autopsy film out-takes to Mr. Scintilli.  Why would he do that ? And why the interest in Elvis ?  Is there an undiscovered link between the Roswell incident and Elvis? Did one of the aliens in fact escape to become the king of rock 'n roll ? Its too early to tell, but investigations continue.