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Politics 101
George W Bush is President of the USA. This is a very important job, children, because America has enough weapons of mass destruction to annihilate the world several times over. So its president needs to be very clever and wise, just like Mr Bush is. GnomeWeb wants you to read some of the clever things he's said so that you can sleep safely in your litle beds, knowing that the fate of the world is in such safe hands.
The Wit and Wisdom of George W Bush
Did he *really* say things as stupid as this ?
Did he say "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."... (to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93)
Did he say "It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet." ... ( at Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000)
Did he say "Ariel Sharon of Israel is a Man of Peace". 
Did he say "General Musharraf of Pakistan is a Democrat"
Did he say "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother and child." 
Did he say "The French don't have a word for `Entrepreneur`". 
Did he say "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it". 
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."  (9/15/95)
Did he say "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not   occur." ...(9/22/97)
Did he say "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country". George W.Bush 
Did he say "The inhabitants of Greece are Grecians". 
Did he say "If we don´t succeed, we run the risk of failure". 
Did he say "I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future".
Did he say "The future will be better tomorrow". 
Did he say "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world". 
Did he say "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe, we are a part of Europe". 
Did he say "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls". 

"For NASA, space is still a high priority". 

Did he say "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children". 
Did he say "It's time that the human race enter the solar system". 
Did he say "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive  positions and have a tremendous impact on history."...
Did he say "Public speaking is very easy." ...(to reporters)
Did he say "I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican" 
Did he say "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to  the polls." 
Did he say "The American people would not want to know of any   misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
Did he say "We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten  you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."...(as Governor of Texas)
Did he say "Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." ...(as Governor of Texas)
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." (as Governor of Texas 8/11/94) 
Did he say "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy, but that could change." ( 5/22/98)
Did he say "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." ...(as Governor of Texas 12/6/93 ) 
Did he say "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."..(as Governor of Texas 11/30/96 ) 
Did he say "Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." (Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000) 
Did he say "Quotas is bad for America. It's not the way America is all about." 
Did he say "When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame. 
Did he say "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." ...(as Governor of Texas  5/20/96) 
Did he say "After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society." - Santa Clara, CA, May 1, 2002.
Did he say "But as a result of evil, there's some amazing things that are taking place in America." - Daytona Beach, FL, January 30, 2002.
"And so one of the areas where I think the average Russian will realize that the stereotypes of America have changed is that it's a spirit of cooperation, not one-upmanship, that we now understand one plus one can equal three, as opposed to us and Russia we hope to be zero." - Crawford, TX, 11/15/2001.
Did he say "A vampire is a - a - cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone." - At a Colorado Republican fund raising event, August 2001
Did he say "I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well." - Jan. 29, 2001. 
Did he say "It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."- Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000
Did he say "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"- Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000 
Did he say "You know I could run for governor but I'm basically a media creation. I've never done anything. I've worked for my dad. I worked in the oil business. But that's not the profile you have to have to get elected to public office" 1989
Did he say "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." ...(as Governor of Texas  9/22/97 ) 
Did he say When I need a little advice about Saddam Hussein, I turn to country music. 
-- (circa 1991) 
Did he say "You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this. " - said to Wall Street Journal columnist Al Hunt, 1986.
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Note: Its been pointed out to us by fanatical Gnome-Web readers that some of these quotes may in fact derive from that other great thinker of out times, Dan Quayle.  The correct response to this can only be. .. "who gives a shit" ?. Both men are a credit to the american democratic process and have done a lot, each in his own way, to change the way America is curently regarded by the rest of the world. We value accuracy to at least the same degree that the estimable Mr Bush himself does and perhaps more. For example, we would never accuse others of having non-existant weapons of mass destruction as an excuse to invade their country or say that we'd won an election when we hadn;t.  Compared to ... ummm .. 'innacuracies' .. on that scale, ours are relatively trivial. 
Any other words of words of wit or wisdom from the great George W to share ? Send them  here.


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