| A
leading British politician, Lord Gnome, was found stabbed to death
in the bushes on Hampstead Heath in London last night at a notorious gnomosexual
meeting place. Passers-by reported seeing a duck wearing a red gnome'ish
hat standing over the body. A duck answering this description was later
arrested by police near the scene of the crime. There had been speculation
recently in the tabloid press about the politicians gnomosexual liaisons,
but he had not so far been linked romantically with any ducks. Such
disclosures would have seriously threatened his political future in a country
which has yet to fully accept either gnomes in public life or the involvement
of feathered creatures in sexual acts. The police are holding the duck
for further questioning, and say that fowl play is suspected. |
