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Gnomes Up Richard Gere's Ass - Fact or Fiction ?

Speaking out against persistent showbiz rumours that he has used Gnomes for deviant anal purposes, Hollywood superstar Richard Gere said .."Theres no way I'd let one of those little bastards near my ass with the kind of pointy caps they wear"

Stories in the notorious 'National Gnome Enquirer' link Gere with the obscure practice of inserting Gnomes into ones ass during sex and enjoying the wriggling sensation as they try to escape.Expert medical opinion warns against this practice, pointing to the fact that Gnomes often carry sharp gardening implements and are known to have bad tempers

Editors Note : We are assured by representatives of Mr Gere that the picture above is NOT a candid shot of their client at the Cedars of Lebanon hospital in hollywood, trying to expel a gnome who had got stuck in his ass with painful consequences. It is suggested that this picture was faked by the 'National Gnome Enquirer' newspaper. We at Gnomeweb offer no opinion, except to urge all of our readers to keep Gnomes well away from their asses.

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